Is

I want to write.  I really need to write.  I have so much swirling around inside and I need my outlet.  Can't do it though. Can't.  I mean look at this.  My writing is about not being able to write.  Who wants to read that?  Who wants to write that?  Not me. 

But I need to write and I guess if that's all I can get out, at least I feel the keyboard, right?  No? ok, I know!  I get it.  Writing just for the feel of the keyboard... with nothing worth writing about isn't valuable to anyone.

But I WANT to write.  That has to count for something, right?

I want to write about the beautiful things taking place in my life right now.  I have them.  They are truly a gift.  I want to write about how angry I am feeling right now.  It's a part of grief and it's real and people need to know it's okay to feel it.  I want to explore how lonely this stage of my life is at certain points every day.  Grief is so private an individual.  I want to dig into why I have been able to enjoy many projects on my summer home improvements plan and how some just make my skin crawl because I seem less interested in the goal as the time it would take away from my down time... and how bizarre that is for me because those are the things I love in my down time... but not right now... because of all this stuff swirling inside. I want to write thoughts about some things I have been experiencing and hearing of in our churches today.  So many things... I want to explore it all.  I need to explore it all. 

Wanting to and being effective are two different things, however, so I digress.  I will close with only this.... the one thing that is ringing strong in my heart that might have some value to someone besides me.  Maybe this is the point of why I can't say anything else.

My only thought I can muster some sense out of today....

God is.  He IS.  GOD IS. 

And that's enough.

Robin