What a difference a couple of decades make...

Yesterday my best friend and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary.  My facebook status said, "19 years ago today we said I do - we were younger, skinnier, and Todd had more hair, but our love is the same... Only with deeper layers!"  That's is exactly how I feel.  We have the same beautiful love, only it's better, richer, deeper, thicker, stronger. 

And I know it is because life has NOT been butterflies and rainbows. 

Our marriage has endured a multitude of storms, and it is those that have grown us richer and deeper... with each other and with our Lord.  How thankful I am for even the painfully hard times because our marriage has endured and because of the endurance I have no question, not even one, if we will make it all the way. 

I praise the Lord for this, as I know this not to be the case in many marriages. And I am genuinely sorrowful for this reality.  Everyone should have a Todd in their lives!

One of my deepest losses in the midst of one of our storms of late is my wedding rings. I love those rings because they represented our love.  I also deeply loved the rings because Todd chose them all on his own, without even a question to me of what I would like... and he hit it dead on! I would have picked the very same ones.  

I remember staring for months at the sparkly diamonds encased in gold. I knew the sacrifice as we were only 20 when we got engaged.  His blood, sweat, and probably tears went into that purchase.  

Then, just like that, they were stolen from me and I have grieved over the loss more than I can say.  We got the rings back, but with diamonds missing.  I have been so sad.  I haven't wanted to replace the diamonds.  I am sure I will someday maybe, but right now, I just grieve what was.  I don't care about the actual diamonds so much.  Anyone that knows me, knows I am not a "bling" girl.  What I care about is that they were Todd's diamonds to me.  His symbol of his proclamation of love for eternity. I told Todd I didn't want the rings fixed right now.  I told him I would just figure out something simple to wear. 

But I haven't.  I have worn my grandma's rings before on occasion, for fun, but I haven't even been able to wear those because I have just felt... empty that my precious gift was taken.  So my finger has been without the symbol and I have been trying to figure out what to do.

Yesterday, my joy was restored.  Todd did it again.  Only he did it even better this time.  See for yourself.

After 19 years of marriage, Todd knew what I would want, even more than I did.  For my anniversary, I was presented with a new symbol of our love.  They are two simple silver bands that go together to represent our love, that is encompassed by the peace (the dove symbol on one) and love of our Savior (the cross symbol on the other band). 

When we slipped them onto my finger, somehow all the sadness of the ruined set disappeared.  I have stared at these rings much the way I did the diamonds and gold those couple of decades ago, and I find myself even more satisfied the second time around.

My precious husband, again without a single ounce of input from me, selected the most beautiful set of rings and made me love him all over again.  

I love the first set.  I will forever cherish the sacrifice he made to provide me such a beautiful adorning symbol of our pledge to one another, when we were just poor college kids! 

But the fact that he really, really knows me... who I really am from the inside out, and found the perfect set to replace our loss, is a gift that goes so far beyond something that can be expressed outside the beat of my heart.

I am a blessed woman.... right smack in the middle of our latest trials.  I am truly, truly a blessed woman.  A couple of decades ago, I would have liked any ring.  I just wanted to be with him forever.  But I sure was proud of the diamonds!  And I would have liked these rings too, even then, however,  I don't think I would have valued these rings the way I do now. 

It is just amazing what a difference a couple of decades... and a whole lot of facing the fire together... can do!  Todd "gets" me more today than ever.  He knows what really matters to me.  And he embraces it with me.

I am thankful for my husband of 19 years and 1 day tonight.  I will wear these rings every day and I will know that "for as long as we both shall live"  just gets sweeter and sweeter.

Blessed and smiling tonight,

Robin

Oh - funny side note - I made a status about our "layers".  Guess where Todd planned our anniversary dinner (for us and the kids.. just the way I like it) to be?  Check it out! 

The Red Onion

Awesome, right? 

:)