We had a whirl- wind week last week leading up to the big homecoming dance. The kids had a blast and so did the moms as we took a million and one pictures, spent time together at dinner, and then had some real heart talks together while the kids were at the dance. It was a great success. Here is proof....
The only negative to the evening was the shock our kids felt at what some of the other kids chose to behave like at the dance. Good news... our kids were highly disgusted and turned off by it. So that is a negative I can live with! Best part of the night was the after party. They got on a mean game of hide and go seek in the dark. My friend summed it up perfectly... "We could have saved all the money and just had them run around the neighborhood all night!" Good kids... good, clean fun. Priceless.
But then we headed into Sunday... the Lord's day. No matter how late we were up, it is always, always, always worth rising to meet our Father in His house. This day was no different. We had a wonderful time in our bible study hour and then we headed to watch our youngest eagerly serve as a guest on the kids ministry praise team. What absolute JOY to see her innocent praise and total abandon. She was a natural up there... could God be preparing something before my very eyes?
Later that afternoon a large group of us met to watch the movie Courageous. I knew it was going to be good.. inspired... but I was not in any way prepared for the emotions it would evoke. That experience is going to have to be addressed in it's on blog entry. I haven't been ready to write about it just yet. So many old emotions completely revisited during the movie. It touched a place Todd and I have already lived so personally. Riveting. Christ anointed that movie.... no. doubt.
And then we moved into the homecoming festivities week all leading up to the big game tomorrow. It has been fun to enjoy the experiences and see the kids have fun. Light, carefree, joyful week... until....
Switching gears for a minute... let me tell you about my dog, Charlie. Best dog ever. He was a rescued dog.. someone horribly abused him before we found him, so when we took him in, cleaned him up, and loved on him, his devotion was instant. He held no anger from the past abuse, only love and appreciation for what he had been given in the now. He is a remarkable dog, with a permanently crooked leg from a broken leg that someone caused and never fixed (it was already healed when we got him and we were told it would be way too painful to fix now), that is almost the perfect creature. His obedience is above understanding and his tolerance is beyond what one could hope. So of course.. he is the perfect therapy dog.
So, Charlie now goes to school. Every day, all day, and he loves on all my students. I teach special education and all of my students struggle in one form or another. They are unique and wonderful and make it clear to me that God did not intend for any of us to fit a mold. If we did, we would miss out on the flavor in life that these guys all bring. They are amazing. And Charlie loves them. And they love Charlie. He is the motivator for them to complete there work, he is the comforter when they are sad, he is the reward when they are good, and he is a calming agent for kids all over the school that are having a tough time behaviorally. He knows his job and he does it well.
But to get back to how this started.... it is amazing how quickly things can change. Charlie has a tumor. We knew it was there. That isn't the surprise. What is the surprise is that we were originally told there was nothing to worry about, but found out today, Charlie may not live long.... it is cancer. The vet sat down, and before she ever told me, I knew, because she had tears in her eyes. She sees for herself what a remarkable dog Charlie is and she knows the importance of his role not only for us, but for my students. It was the last thing she wanted to tell us and it was the last thing I wanted to hear. Charlie has cancer. Oh my goodness.
And I didn't even see it coming. I had my youngest with me. I would never have taken her if I had known. I would have planned how to tell her tenderly and I would have waited until I had all the details. But there we sat, both of us crying... and she really didn't even know why for sure except she knew I was and that meant whatever that vet was saying was bad. I don't know who I squeezed the hardest... my baby girl or my Charlie.
We finally gathered ourselves together and headed out the door, very unsure of what was just around the corner. My thoughts instantly on my kiddos at school and instantly back in that place I find myself time and time again... the "Whoa! Didn't see THAT coming!" place. I looked at my Charlie, tale wagging, eyes full of love, and I thought again, "Whoa! I didn't see THAT coming... and Charlie still doesn't." I cried all the way home. I cried at the restaurant. I cried on my evening walk. I am crying now. I love Charlie. But even more... my children... both at home and at school... love Charlie. And he is needed.
I know that many will think, "It is JUST a dog!" But to those I say... you obviously don't know Charlie... or any of the pets in our family. They are far more! FAR more! But Charlie... well much like my sweet Hotie the donkey, that we just lost last summer, Charlie has a special job. He is one of a kind. And just like that, without warning, I am told I might not have my Charlie in just a few short months.
As I was walking tonight and thinking about Charlie, my thoughts drifted to Cheyenne, a girl I do not know personally and yet have prayed for feverently this week, and now pray for her family. She was so young, has a beautiful 16 month old baby, and while working cattle as she had done many times before, something went tragically wrong and her horse bolted full speed ahead, knocking her off. However, on the way down, her spur got caught up somehow and the horse drug her and ultimately, she never returned to those who love her. And my thoughts drifted to the 10 month old little girl missing out of Missouri. And my thoughts drifted to, drifted to, drifted to.... so much loss, pain, sorrow. And now Charlie too?
But the thing is, somewhere in all the sadness, there is this level of comfort that I cannot explain. I hold to it tightly and I feel, that in every circumstance we face, the thing that really is remarkable, is the calm in the storm. Sometimes I am like Peter and I take my eyes off of my Savior when He is asking me to "walk on water towards him" so to speak. I find myself starting to sink. I felt that this week in the difficulties facing education and in situations I didn't understand. But then I look back up and there is such a strong, strong sense of peace that passes all understanding, and suddenly I am keenly aware... the comfort is there. It IS there. It is ALWAYS there!
And because of that, somehow I just know God is going to supply my needs for Charlie and for those that love Charlie. He may do it through healing him so I can have him for years to come to take to school and bless those kids or He may prepare the way for me and everyone that loves Charlie to let go. I don't know. I just know, because of where I have been, I know without any doubt, God will supply our every need... even for our beloved therapy dog named Prince Charles whom we lovingly refer to as Charlie Brown (he is a chocolate lab! Ha! And what can I say? we already had King Frederick, the bloodhound we call Fred). And He will prepare the hearts of all those sweet kids if things go in a direction of painful goodbyes. I know that because I have lived it in things far worse like letting go of my Eathan. And I know it because I was reminded all over again Sunday in that movie. And I know it tonight because I felt Him close when I was hugging my hurting daughter.
I have been reminded that I will never, ever be able to understand this world, the way it works, the people in it, and the events taking place. I will never be able to please everyone and I will never be able to understand what is happening and why. But those are not the things I am to concern myself with. I am to concern myself with the things of God and He will take care of the rest. I know that. I trust that. I hold to that.
So I don't know what mountains you are facing. I don't know what surprises are in your path. And I don't know what you are trying to control. We all do it. Silly really, but we do. But for me, the past two weeks, and then right smack dab in the middle of this new sadness for Charlie, I have found God faithful as always... in the highs, the lows, the sadness, the joys... He is right there with His steady hand.
And tonight I believe with all of my heart He was hugging me right straight through Charlie, who was more affectionate than ever. God... the ONE unchanging, will not disappoint, will not fail, Savior of the world.... is holding out His steady hand.
I'm holding on... come on! Grab a hold with me! He is waiting.
"COME TO ME, YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST!" Matthew 11:28
And just in case you want to know what God looks like when He hugs you through Charlie, take a look of this picture, and you will see adoring eyes without conditions on love. He is unconcerned with his tomorrow. He only wants to love in this day. He is remarkable. I wanna be like Charlie... like my Eathan was... and I am so thankful God is the kind of God He will even show up even in the form of a loving, patient, kind dog.
I am inspired! Here he is.... better pics will come at a later time....
 |
| Prince Charles... AKA Charlie Brown... AKA unconditional love! |
Love from my heart to yours today....
Robin
No comments:
Post a Comment