Todd has been a pretty sick puppy. He is on morphine and two different oral pain pills and it isn't touching his headache. The infection is a doozie, he's on the two strongest IV antibiotics at the strongest doses, flowing through his new central line and its taking much longer than I would like to knock it out of his system. I find myself in that helpless place I've been Many times before, wishing I could do something, but really incapable of doing anything. So I come, I sit. I pray. I wait. I know that God is showing up when just when it is time and my job is to believe and wait.
That can be hard for me. I happen to be one that likes to do things. I like to be an active participant in this thing called life and I find it very challenging when the circumstances require nothing but sit and wait. But wait I must so, I do.
I found myself on the most beautiful drive in to the hospital this morning. The sun was especially bright, I had the radio blaring, and lyrics began to pour in that were so fitting to my needs in the moment. "I believe You're my healer! I believe You are all I need! Jesus, You are all I need!". As I was listening to the song, I was moved in my heart. I realized the song was chosen for me that moment, as a reminder to remember what He has already done, so that when I got here today and saw Todd still not Todd, I would not be discouraged. I'm not discouraged! I hate how sick Todd is and has been. I'm sad for all his pain. But as I stated yesterday in a post, God is a good, good God and He is worthy of all my faith.
I have been brought back over and over to ecclesiastes where it says "for everything there is a season..." As I was driving, I was thinking about those verses and the seasons in life. And there was that beautiful sun, shining so bright. It was hitting the tress and making them almost glow. The leaves that have begun to change colors were standing out so obviously. It struck me, God is highlighting fall for my personal view to remind me that seasons come and seasons go.
Todd being in the hospital is just another season. I can choose to look at the things I don't like about it... the pain he has been in, the fincances that are stacking up, the loss of money from him being off.... or I can look at the beauty found within it.... the love of family and friends that go beyond, letting us know how loved we are, the anticipation of celebration that is coming as he gets better again, the growth that always comes from having to trust in the storms, the nice people taking care of him, the precious time to sit, think, pray, etc, etc, etc,
This I have learned along the way in all that we have been through... there are always things that seem to want to take the view. Those things that are real and ugly. They seem to demand our attention, especially when things are more difficult than the normal day. But to push past those and look more closely, beauty is always found and that ray of light I wrote about a couple of weeks back is always pushing through.
The drive I was on the morning usually has a different view. It is an extremely aggrevating stretch of highway that I have to travel to get here. It has a ton of traffic and even more traffic lights. Seems like I stop every 10 seconds. When I want to be here quickly, it seems even slower. But today, I was able to look past all that and I saw the trees glowing in color. It all started when the song was on and I was thinking about God more than the drive or the circumstances.
So, my nugget for the day... no matter what is going on, try to look past the things trying to force their way into your view and instead think about God and watch Him show up in the midst of it. Todd is on his way. He has started seizure medicine because the infection attacked his nervous system and the medicine is working. He will have an MRI shortly and that will reveal whatever it needs to. The antibiotics are doing their job. Before we know it, this will surely be a distant memory. But the beauty of it will remain... the song, the trees, the man singing that soul gospel next door, the love of family and friends... it is those things that require us to faithfully say, "I count it all good my brethren!"
Thanks for the prayers and love. Looking beyond today....
Robin
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