12-22-15 Part 2
Those verses in Isaiah 55 (See part one for details) hit me big today, as I searched his word after really experiencing the moments of just “being” out on the balcony with God. It hit me that I am not here to continue learn to accept help and get over my pity party. (That is an ongoing work in progress and the reminders are very good.) But what hit me as I felt surrounded in the quilt of beautiful snow, pure and untouched in every direction I looked this morning, was that God was screaming at my worried heart, to remember that He WILL accomplish what He pleases and it SHALL PROSPER.
Ever since we traveled to Europe this summer for our glorious dream trip for Seth’s graduation, I have been deeply burdened for our world. When we were in Paris, for the first time on that trip, and directly in my life, I felt completely vulnerable and unprotected. There was a beheading at a factory while we were there and we suddenly saw the Militia everywhere, armed with machine guns and obviously on guard. We were in Paris the shortest amount of time, as we spent time in other countries and in Normandy and Mont St Michele in France, but our time there became very worrisome for me. I tried to withhold any real obvious fear for my kids… namely my daughter’s sake. She is still fresh and full of childhood and I want that to last for her as long as it can. But, I was un-nerved at the sudden change in feel of the city. We saved the Eiffel Tower for our last day there, with the intentions of watching the sunset over Paris from the top. We took a cab to get there. When we got in the car, I don’t know what it was, but I felt immediately unsafe. The driver was playing some very dark sounding, music, he spoke little English, work extremely dark glasses, and was completely unfriendly. It felt as if we were an annoyance to him. I had ridden subways, buses, and cabs all over Europe with many that spoke different languages and were Muslim. This was different. This man felt angry. His whole demeanor felt unsafe to me. I leaned over and whispered to my daughter, “I don’t know why, but I just feel like I need you to say the name of Jesus in your head over and over until we are out of this taxi.” For the first time in her life, she didn’t question me at all. It was like she sensed it too and just nodded her head. Seth had sat in the front and I knew he was intuitive enough to guard his heart. We were very quiet and the ride, though quick, felt very long. When we stepped out of the cab, I looked at Seth and said, “I was so uncomfortable.” He knew exactly and so did my daughter. It was a moment I will never forget.
Our trip ended without incident, but I can honestly say, those couple of days in Paris have weighed heavy on me. Then as things escalated and Paris experienced the terrible terrorist attacks, along with California’s incident, I have really been struggling more than I think I realized with the concern of the state of our world. I can’t stand to watch the presidential chatter…. I have personal respect for Ben Carson as he was one of my son’s doctors and I know his heart is real and pure and kind…. But the rest just is so over the top. Promises, lies, attacks, accusations, cursing, cruelness. I know a few of the candidates are being more honorable, but overall it just troubles my soul. The hate of others is so evident in foreign and home soil and I am looking at my children and those children I teach and love, wondering how the world will ever be right for them. I didn’t realize just how much I was carrying it deep inside until God touched me as I looked out over the pureness of that gorgeous landscape.
He gave me those verses and I know that it is not my job to see the world as it is in its current state. It is my job to see God as He ALWAYS is. God is watering. He will bring forth what He intends to accomplish. And the pureness of the snow that I am blessed enough to slow down and just fall in love with, is His way of saying to my heart that joy is still greater than the enemy so desperately roaming the earth. God. Is. GOD. IS. GOD!!!! IS!!!!!!!
Thankful that I am not at the mountain. Thankful that I have a God gracious enough to meet with me in the snow. And thankful that my children and all those I love have that same God loving them as well.