Here I sit again.  It's been a while... again.  I have been writing though!  I have a personal writing going on for my son, my SENIOR son.  I can't believe he is a senior!  I can't go here today or I will totally miss what I am sitting here needing to write about!  That will be for another day... or many other days, I am sure.  Today however, I was led back to here, to this beloved blog, where God determines totally and completely what I write about.  I sit with something on my heart and I have no idea where I am headed or how it will end.  I love it.  It is so freeing and exhilarating!  Today starts with a red light, a street corner, and adrenaline rush, and that stirring that I cherish in my heart where God speaks and commands me to see Him in a situation that many others are missing... that I would miss were it not for the that still small voice commanding my attention.

Let me begin with some back story.  I have been struggling for the last three weeks with what has turned out to be a pretty significant back injury.  I went from hurting to completely down, to serious pain medication so that I can somewhat function again while waiting on the MRI results and plan of action.  I have been pretty sad because "Ain't got time for this!" attitude!  But I have also been sad because I am realizing what exactly my mom is going through on a daily basis with her heart issues preventing any help for her totally deteriorated hip and what my dad goes through with his completely jacked up back that a doc won't fix because it would be too hard on his one kidney from transplant.  I always hurt for them, but now, after only 3 weeks, I so admire their courage even more. Needless to say the conflict of sadness for me and them has been very real.  I am ready to feel like "me" again, and want their relief as well!

Fast forward now to yesterday where I was siting at a red light.  My back was annoyingly hurting because I was holding off on a dose of meds to be closer to the football game of which I refuse to miss no matter what.  I wanted good drugs on board so I wasn't just there, but was able to enjoy the game and keep on taking my pictures for the teams as usual.  My mind was VERY self focused at that moment and then God went to work.  I looked over to see a man walking very briskly towards the crosswalk.  He had on sunglasses... not unusual down here in the south... but then I saw it.  That man walking far more quickly than I do down a sidewalk, was at the mercy of a walking stick.  He was blind and he was TRUCKING IT!  My heart began to race because he was headed towards a very, very busy intersection and it was not his turn to cross.  I found my palms getting sweaty, I was moving my hand to my horn to prepare to honk as I was afraid those that were driving were, like most of us, too distracted in where they are headed to be observant enough to see him coming from the side.

But just like that, his stick hit the curb and he halted exactly where he needed to.... EXACTLY where he needed to!  He reached over and pushed the crosswalk button and leaned towards it to hear the beep.  I was in awe.  I mean, I have seen blind people walk before.  I have even watched in amazement as my blind dog would race across our field and know exactly where to stop before colliding with the barn or the fence.  But it was magical to watch this man fool me in his perfection of his skill.

And then it hit me....

Robin, what is it going to take? How many ways am I going to have to show you, prove to you, lead you, earn your trust for you to walk as this man does?  He is depending on a mere STICK!  You are depending on an all-seeing, all-knowing PERFECT God who loves you more than there are stars in the universe!  When will you walk with me as this man walks with his stick?


Ouch.  OUCH!  OOOOOUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHH!!  Just when I think I am walking in faith, I realize just how far I have to go in this whole trust fully thing with God.... and it isn't Him.. it's all me.  He has shown me in so many ways He is worthy. It's not just in the big things, though those have been plentiful!  It's the daily things.  The sun rising.  The colors of beauty all around.  The day he literally saved my children from a certain death just two months ago in that wreck ta was mere inches from hitting their side of the car at an extreme rate of speed (another blog for another day).  Over and over and over He shows me.  But I get down in my back and boom, I am wallowing again... complaining because I can't see the ending.

I am so thankful to have seen that man yesterday.   I am so glad to know God loves me enough to plant him directly in my path so I received that personal chastisement again. And I am so glad, even as I nervously wait on results from my MRI, that I am reminded to just walk in faith.  Stop trying to figure it out and just walk.  God will take me.  God will stop me.  GOD WILL......

2 Corinthians 4:18
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.   

Hope you will join me on this walk..... it will be exciting... like that brisk walking bind man who radically impacted my heart yesterday!

Robin