Wind knocked flat out of my sails....

Ever had one of those weeks where you're like "BOOM! OUCH!  WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?"  Of course you have.  I am not special.  This is not unique.  But... this is my week to have one of those weeks so I am going to blog my little heart out until I get some wind back and know how to face another day.  Who's with me on this?  No?  Well that's okay because I am going to write anyway.  Feel free to move on to the next blog that the writer is in a better mood.  I will not be offended.

Now... onto my mission at hand.  First of all, the stomach bug.  Need I say more?  It started early Saturday morning when my youngest crawled into bed before daylight.  I should have known then.  She is an early riser... but not before Mr. Sun shows up.  But not being a morning person, I was not logically processing any of this.  I was just shuffling her in so I could go back to the sleep zone as fast as possible.  Just as I was almost there.... well, I will spare the details, but lets just say it even woke her daddy up and I am telling you he could be on fire and not wake up!  Poor thing didn't hardly move a muscle all day.... and I moved all of mine the whole entire day... wash this, Lysol that, try to decorate in between.

By the morning she was good as new.  I mean completely!  It was like nothing had even occurred the day before.  So we showered and did our usual, "OH MY GOODNESS WE ARE LATE AGAIN!" Sunday morning routine and headed off to one of our favorite places on earth... God's house. Our bible study hour was overwhelmingly sweet in Jesus and then God just made me wanna be like David and go running up and down the isle dancing before the Lord (I never wanted to do it naked, don't worry!) Had a great morning of worship and even hit Mexican food on the way home... can't go wrong there, right?

WRONG!  By that night, the stomach bug began to knock at my door.  I was adamant he was not coming in, but it was clear by bedtime he had won out. BOOOO!  My turn.  I never, ever like taking my turn on this one!  That morning in church I sat by my sweet hubby and my sweet friend Karen.  I thought it odd how every time she talked to me she moved back and lean away.  I was thinking I had some pretty mean leftover Jalepeno-Kolache breath or something.  But then I realized... that woman is SMART!  She was avoiding the "what if's" that became the "for sure's" involving the stomach bug... that I didn't want to take a turn on in the first place, might I remind you!  She is a wise, wise woman... even if she is from Jersey! (Just kidding!  I love people from all over.  I just like to give her a hard time!)

So for the next two days, I fought that bug and.... lost.  I missed work and as dreamy as time off may seem, it was not the way I would have preferred!  And because I am not as young (yes, I AM still YOUNG.... just not AS young, okay?)I didn't bounce back the same.  Matter of fact, I was running on low steam when I headed out the door to teach today.  The wind was already low on the sails... wasn't gonna take much to suck 'em dry.  Today did it.  Today sure did it.  Did I mention that today did it?

Now don't misread.  My kids were energizing.  I LOVE my kids.  Every single one of them.  I can think of no greater thing to be a part of beyond my own family, than those adorable kiddos I love on at school.  It was in no way them.  But you know when you are already low on steam and then you get an email and it is like someone just sucker-punched you in the gut right off the computer screen? That is where the wind was knocked flat out of my sails... hence the title of this entry. 

I was instantly in a place of anger and sadness and discouragement and anger and sadness and discouragement and anger and....well, I wasn't in a very good place.  Sometimes, without even knowing what they are about to do, people can level you.  FLAT LEVEL YOU.  I was already exhausted and needing to crawl home to recover some more from the bug that I did NOT want, and then I read those few short lines and it was like I was gutted for a moment.

Suddenly, I couldn't get to the car fast enough and get home to some quiet time, quick enough.  Thankfully, I had already made provisions for someone to cover me at church where I volunteer with children on Wednesdays.  I knew last night, I was going to be running low on "go" by the end of school and those kiddos deserve the best not the "barely making it."  Jesus is the most exciting thing in the world... and I wanted God to use someone that would bubble over for Him tonight, not just get through.  I intend to be back in the saddle next week, but tonight wasn't my night. 

How great is God to have already worked that detail out!  God knew I was going to need tonight to be at home... with my thoughts, but even more... with YHim.  And because of that and just so you are aware, this is really me sorting things out the best way I can.... through my finger tips.  It is me and God at work in our weirdly, personal way... I type, I am raw in my honesty, and by the end, He will have me feeling better because I will be seeing things in a better light again.  (Just for the record, I am not there yet! I will type on... probably to your dismay if you have even made it this far!)

Okay so first thing that just popped in my head...(Holy Spirit is about to let me have it I can tell!)...this email isn't life or death.  It was bothersome.  It was concerning.  But it isn't in any way life or death.  Take a deep breath Robin.  Eternity is not at stake here.  (Yes, I hear myself.  Time to take a deep breath).

Second of all, it doesn't hold some magic power over my tomorrow... or even my today... unless I let it.  It was an unexpected email.  It was disappointing.  But it doesn't change my life in some horrific way.  I have been through and witnessed others go through so much.  Am I really going to dwell so heavily on this annoyance that it is allowed to have power that it wouldn't have if I had not engaged in giving it the power? (Yes, I am hearing... and it's getting loud!)

Third, it doesn't affect my kingdom purpose.  God is the only One in charge of that and His word is clear... NOTHING and /or NO ONE can thwart the plans of God! My purpose is still fully engaged just like it always was, so who cares really if an email was annoying.  WHO CARES?  (Well obviously I did, but I am starting to get over that with some nudging, as I type.  Holy Spirit... you are GOOD!)

Finally, who in the world am I to let some email become my focus?  Isn't that just like Satan to slip right in and use an email to try to make me sin?  Nope, that email doesn't get to be my next sin!  That email doesn't get to steal my thoughts and control my responses.  God is first.  Family is second.  Those precious kids I teach are next.  Friends, fun, (okay and yes food) are far above this on the list.  That's it.  Time for "TUFFY TERMS"!  Time to be like Eathan!

I will not let anything get in my way. I have joy.  I have peace.  I have purpose.  I have patience (well, I'm trying at least, but it started with a P so I felt like I should add it!)  God rules.  Period.  (Another P!  Am I good or what?)

I am done venting.  We've worked it out.  I'm still stomach bug tired, but the rest... WHAT-EV! :)  I will close with my most favorite verse.  Should any of you have made it this far, you deserve to hear from God not me.  He is a  lot more enjoyable and more to the point! 


Jeremiah 29:11-14  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.^[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”   (NIV)

Many stop at 13, but I love 14.... HE WILL BRING ME BACK FROM ANY PLACE HE CARRIES ME INTO EXILE!  He rocks!!!!  God is blessing my life, in my home, in my church, in my school, in my district, and that is where it is.  PERIOD! Yahoo!
Praying you feel His purpose carrying you... even if you are currently in exile!

Love to all!

Robin