Heartwarming....

Well, this year has been... again... all about changes.  Seems as long as I can remember, our family has major changes we face each year.  I know that is the working of the Lord, propelling our lives further down our journey with Him.  And though I celebrate that, I will say sometimes it is easier than others, to embrace the changes.  Seems sometimes, it is the smaller changes that can be the hardest.  Maybe because we don't expect them to be so hard because of the comparison to the bigger things God has led us through.  Or maybe it is because we don't spend as much time with Him about the smaller things, because our human-ness kicks in and we somehow start thinking, "I got this."  Either way, sometimes the smaller things are harder to bear, but sometimes, the smaller things also become the sweetest unexpected moments.  Such it was for us this Christmas.

This is the first time, in all my years of living, to not see my parents for the holidays.  It was the first time in all my years of living, to not see ANY family for the holidays, other than my own sweet little family I reside with.  It was the strangest feeling, as the weekend approached, realizing, we were going to be doing things all on our own, the whole time.  In some ways I felt very sad.  I love our families and would miss the laughter and fun that being with them all brings.  But in some ways it made me kind of sigh and relax, once the hard decision was made to stay here this year and not travel due to Todd not feeling well... at all..., then I have to admit, the stress that comes with traveling at Christmas faded away of trying to keep gifts hidden, trying to have room, and trying to make not enough time feel like enough time with all those we would want to spend time with  It is so worth it when we do travel... no question of that!  But since it just couldn't be this Christmas, there was something calming about staying put.  And I knew, even though it would be very different, I would do all I could to make it very special for my family. 

We went to our Candle Light Service, which was beautiful, to kick things off.  Then we went out to eat Mexican food.  (Sort of a tradition of ours all the time).  And then we did our family presents.  This we have always done alone.  We do our gifts to one another at home so that it is special just among us.  So this felt very normal, so to speak.  We made Christmas cookies, got in our Christmas jammies, and watched the Santa Tracker before bed.  We awoke to the excitement of "Can I come down?" and we enjoyed Santa.  Next is where the new traditions began.

After the Santa excitement was calming down, we made our way to the Kitchen.  Todd put in our "Turducken" (AND CAN I SAY WOW!  TURDUCKEN!!!) to bake and I made us a Christmas feast fit for a King while the kids messed with their new things.  We sat around the table and, without any rush at all, just laughed and talked and enjoyed ourselves.  After a while we cleaned up breakfast and headed to the living room and watched a movie.  We were still in our PJ's at 4 in the afternoon.  It was wonderful!  We then got dressed and finished preparing our Christmas dinner with all the fixin's.  We had enough food to feed half the town because I wanted it to feel like Christmas dinner.  How do you do that small? The best part of the day took place around the table for Christmas Dinner.

We took our time eating and talking.  We went around the table and shared our thoughts and heart on different questions about our wonderful Savior and Lord, whose birth we were celebrating.  We asked, "What would be the worst part of life, had Jesus not been born?"  Sweet and sobering answers followed.  Our youngest said, "There would be no one to live in our hearts!"  Our 14 year old said, "The uncertainty after death."  One said, "Despair."  I said, "hopelessness", someone said, "Darkness in everything."  Todd said, "No direction."  It was a heavy moment as we paused to try to imagine life without Jesus.

The next question, "What is the best part about His birth?"  Our youngest said, "That He can live in our hearts if we want Him to!"  Other answers:  "Certainty in life and in death." "Guidance" "Hope" "Forgiveness came" "A way home." 

The next Question: "So as we sit here remembering our Savior, what are you most thankful for this year that you know is because of Him?"  Our youngest said, "Everything I have is because He gave it to me because it was His first."  Isn't she really learning truths young?  I love it!  My 14 year old said, "Genuine friends that love God like I do."  He knows how we prayed for that when we moved here and even through some bumps in the road, he knows God has shown him favor granting him support in good, lasting, real friends that he can depend on and that can depend on him.  What a gift in high school!  One answered, "Getting more of our things from back home."  It is HARD to move so far and it has been sweet to move most of our life down here now.  Maybe next year we will get the rest and the horses! ;)  Other answers:  "Peace in storms."  "Consistency."  I said, "How God so clearly answered my prayer when I asked Him to give me a way to share what I felt He planted in my heart about the current situation taking place in education."  It is quite humbling to look back and how clearly God opened doors for me, when He saw that I was truly ready and willing.  If only I would be like that every day in every way.  What a testimony He gave me to remember so that I can know if He calls me to something, He will open doors to see me through it!

Finally, we asked "What does it mean to you to know that the very Christ we celebrate being born, was the One who had to be put to death for you?  How does that change your celebration of His birth?"  The answers were raw and precious and not mine to really share on here.  I don't have the right to expose those asnswers that were the most private and personal.  But I will share mine.  As I began to share my thoughts, I couldn't even get the first three words out before I was in tears!  As I type about it tonight, I am crying again.  It is a very tender thing for me to realize...every single time.  The thing that is most amazing to me as I celebrate His birth in light of the cross, is the realization that every time my Father looks at me, He sees His son!  He doesn't see my sin, my failures, my human-ness.  He sees the blood of Christ.  I am reconciled to my Father because His son was born and bled for ME! That is a gift that is beyond my comprehension! Nothing compares!  How can I NOT celebrate?  It is amazing.

After I cried a bit more, eventually my kids started some small talk to get me back to laughing again... it WAS a celebration after all... and then we headed to the movies and then returned home for some crazy  game play (well the kids and I did.  Todd was not feeling well and went to bed after the movie. Please pray for his health.  He will be mad at me for being so public... but pray anyway!  And maybe pray for me to so that when he finds out I posted about him, he will be nice! ;)!!).  Anways, we stayed up, even my youngest, until it was past midnight, so that we closed out the full day of Christmas.  As I said goodnight I realized, though I missed my family much and shed tears a couple of times throughout the weekend for them, I had experienced a very Merry Christmas! 

Today was after Christmas reality. My least favorite part is when it is over.  The tree is so empty looking.  And it is time to move on.  Sometimes I just want to freeze those really, really great days.  But, I have a week left at home before returning to school so I was determined to get the not so fun part behind me today.  I put the Christmas decor away, started organizing closets and making room for more things from the garage.  The kids helped a while and then started making plans with friends.  And of course, with life, comes more bumps in the road and tonight another bump in the road happened and I realized all over again, Satan is always around, knocking at the door.  But as I release the concerns yet again, I know that God is always in control and I don't have to be the one to try to sort out the world.  It is not my job.  How thankful for that I am.  Yet another reason, I truly celebrate the birth of my Savior!

My prayer is that your Christmas, whether spent as you would expect, or drastically different, was somehow invaded by the overwhelming reality that no matter what, all is well, because of a baby who changed everything! He made the biggest change of all... for eternity! 

Love to ALL!

Robin