Balance

Balance is such a tricky thing.  Look at a little child trying to learn to walk the curb... one little tilt and off they go.  Look at a professional tight rope walker. He has to hold the pole just so or down he tumbles to the safety net below. Or even more obvious, look at a person trying to handle life on their own, apart from Christ.  They walk such unsteady and shakey steps trying not to lean too far one way or another, all the while in a dangerous riskof which way they might go wrong.  But it isn't just those without Christ is it?  There is a balance for all of us and even as Christians, we can lose sight of what we are purposed on this earth for and suddenly find ourselves in a tailspin.  Every day is a journey.  Every day a choice.  Every day an opportunity to be balanced by the One who knows the perfect balance, or step into the danger zone.  Every single day.

Today, I had many emotions.  I know... it is shocking that I had emotions.  And I am sure it will be found just as "surprising" that it was from something beautiful I observed that demonstrated love from one to another, right?  Sure, Robin.... totally "surprising".  But I did have emotions and they have crept back in all day long.  I find it so interesting how God replays things that touch me like a live feed in my brain.  It is as if He is giving me the time to process over and over the taste of His love.  I am so grateful for that.  So many people don't feel things the way I do.  At times I do envy them, because sometimes it is hard to always feel so much and so deep.  But on days like today, I remain forever grateful that God allowed me to carry the gift of mercy and compassion because my soul is awakened to things that keep me looking HOME.

And while I was dealing with those emotions from this experience God allowed me to experience, I found myself back in that place of asking myself... "Who is going to balance things today?  Me or God?"  I chose God.  And of course, as soon as I did, it has been one thing after another.  "Boom.  Pow!  Kabam!"  Left and right there have been things zinging my way trying to derail my focus... and my joy.  But because of where I planted my heart right off the bat this morning through that experience, somehow, the balance has remained. 

When I look back over the day, the bigger things and the smaller things, still yet that steady thread is found and I know that at the end of this day... and many, many others I can look back over... it is all too clear that were I trying to make it balance on my own, I would have flopped by 8:30 this morning.  Crystal clear.  But I didn't have to balance it.  I didn't have to do anything because early on I had committed it to Christ.  Whew!  That's what I have to say to that.

I wish I could really, really, really become like a child again in that place of not knowing there even is another way.  It is such a beautiful way to live.  My older kids have already crossed over to reality, but my youngest hasn't and my sweet Eathan never will.  He went from child-like faith to perfect faith... in the blink of an eye!  Awesome!  But even my youngest, (though I know day by day, she is getting closer and closer to that place of crossing over as well) is still existing in that place of total trust.  She has no doubt that the world is a good place and people are worth it and when something is wrong it is ALWAYS worth fixing.  I love to watch kids her age.  Even if they bicker, the next breath they are the best of friends and laughing as if there were never a problem in the world... and especially not between each other.  It is beautiful.  It is simple.  It is balanced.  It is effortless. 

But since I can't go back to that beautiful place of childhood, what I intend to keep doing is remembering at the start of the day that I CAN'T, but God CAN and because of that, I then CAN!  I know that because He says so... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13... and I know that because I have lived it... today being yet another day of proof. 

I love God.  I love His power.  I love His control.  And I love that when I hurt for someone else, or when I hurt for myself, I can lean into Him and not have to try to fix a thing... because He has it.  I serve a very cool Creator and He has me!  He wants to have your back to... will you let Him?  I dare you!

Goodnight!

Robin