NOTHING but GREATNESS!

Today was a powerfully moving day for me in church.  The Holy Spirit blew through my soul and rested hard and heavy on my heart!  I love it when the Spirit is so strong that you cannot question in any way if God is moving!  And He spoke.  He spoke greatness over me yet again and He spoke repentance awareness into my soul yet again.  And as always, because of it I will never be the same!

Let me start with repentance!  As some of you know, this year has been a very humbling year for me as a teacher.  I was chosen to represent my campus as their 2011-2012 Teacher of the Year (for easier writing from here on I will term it TOY).  As their representative, you are asked to write a couple of essays to be considered for TOY for the district (I will get to the meat of that God thing shortly).  I was stunned to find out I had been chosen as a finalist.  I attended the interview process for district TOY and soon found out, amazingly, I had been selected as the district TOY for 2011-2012.  I was humbled and sincerely shocked.  I know, just on my campus, the quality of teachers in our district.  "Me?  Really?"  But the thing is, I knew why and in light of the reason,  I knew this really shouldn't surprise me because from the get-go it wasn't about me at all... it was about God doing what God does when He finds our hearts willing. 

To keep going from here gets a bit hard for me, but it is necessary for you to understand the repentance thing, so please bare with me!  As district TOY, you are then asked to submit a bunch of essays and information to the Regional level for the opportunity to be considered as Regional TOY.  I continued the process and truly asked God to flow through my fingertips.  I wanted to represent Him well.  A couple of weeks ago, I got word that I had been selected a finalist again and an interview was set up.  In utter disbelief, I accepted the interview (and got my nails done deciding I better look like a professional woman for my district's sake)!  I attended the interview, it went extremely well, and I will find out the results the second week of August at a special dinner.  I have to have a photo shoot and everything!  Can I just say this is all way out of my comfort zone?  I am humbled, amazed, shocked, and yes, uncomfortable!  And that is where confession and repentance arrives...

You see, before any of this began, God was already at work (we always know this, but somehow we so easily forget).  I had become very burdened for education and the grave news of the budget crisis in our state, and our entire nation.  When I had personal friends begin to receive their "pink slips", it became a passionate need for me to address.  I began writing my congressmen and women, I began pleading for others to do the same, and I began to pray.  At first I was like everyone else.  I was on a high horse speaking of such injustice.  How could those "higher powers that be" in congress forget that were it not for education, there would be no congress?  Teachers are foundational to their knowledge and career, as well as every other career out there!  How can we be the ones they cast off and cut?  How can they forget the children are our very future?  I was upset, indignant, and at the perfect place for a good chastisement from my Father!  Isn't it true?  When we are feeling most "justified" in a judgement, we are most primed for a humbling?

I wasn't praying from a place of "I am better than them" on a conscious level.  I was sincerely praying for God to move mountains and change hearts for the betterment of the children and our country's future!  I was sincerely seeking God's will in a situation that deeply grieved me, for all the right reasons.  But God is HUGE and He works in the places we don't even know we are struggling, so He can reveal an area of sin in order to cleanse and draw us closer.  In my deepest concern for a sincere need, God opened my eyes to a truth that rocked me to the core.  As clear as day He spoke to me and said, "Robin, don't you see?  The budget isn't the issue!  The issue is that I have been excluded from education and therefore I cannot bless the way I desire!"  Just like that, it hit me... what is wrong with education is we have asked God to step outside and we have shut and bolted the door on Him. 

Don't miss understand. I have not denied Him as my God inside or outside the school. I love Him and I claim Him very openly.  I have not ignored Him in my class, and I claim His victories all day long with those I teach with and serve children with on His behalf.  The conviction was not that I openly deny God.  The conviction was that I have not been a voice fighting for God.  I have been part of the silent majority of believers who are very disturbed on a personal level at the reality that  praying in Jesus name is no longer tolerated and it is even no longer favorable to share even our opinion of beliefs openly in a classroom, but have not actively participated in keeping our rights just as active as any other Americans that choose a different belief on a level beyond those I share life with.  I am not guilty of discrimination against others and their beliefs, nor would I ever want to be, but instead I am a part of the silence that has allowed my own rights and beliefs to be silenced. It broke my heart when He drew that to the surface. 

I was talking to my friend Tricia (hey!  I used your name today!) about this very subject and I told her how much it was on my heart.  I shared how God had hit me square in the heart with what was truly the issue in education... it was not the budget.  He is the great supplier of all needs.  But the thing is, what hit my heart heavily as I prayed about the current conditions facing education today, is that God cannot bless what He has been asked to leave.  I told Tricia, and I quote, "If God would give me the platform, I would tell it to as many people as I can!" 

When I was selected to represent my own campus and I received the essay prompts... suffice it to say, I could see God's hand all over it.  I choose to believe I am good at my job... not because I am anyone special, but because I truly love my kids and I truly teach from a place of fully believing they are fearfully and wonderfully made according the Scripture of Psalms 139.  You can't go wrong when you are teaching under that conviction.  But the reason I was in the place of receiving this opportunity was God was answering my prayer!  One of the prompts was asking me to write of my professional biography.... my history and what led me to where I am today.  But the other prompt.... "Hello Lord!  I see the burning bush!".... as the prompt was, "What do you think is the most difficult issue facing education today."  There you have it... He gave me a platform. 

With eagerness beyond what I can explain, I sat down with my fingertips all but sweating with the anticipation of letting Him speak what He wanted spoken.  I poured out the words in no time at all, and the biggest issue was keeping what I had to say to the length of two pages, double spaced.  I was so proud to write that essay, but I have to confess, I thought it would be the end of the road for my moving on.  Oh, wee (ME) of little faith!  Why would being faithful and writing what God ordained me to write, what He convicted me to write, end a path?  I have been chosen because God needed some other people to hear my message.  Isn't He amazing?

Today as we sat in church, I praised God for what He is doing all around.  The speaker this morning, David Cook (unbelievable story by the way of which deserves attention all its own on another blog day), reminded me what I already knew.  This is His story and He is using me.... so OF COURSE I have gone further... because it has never been about me at all!  I love that!  I LOVE THAT!  I don't know what the future holds or what the decision will be of the committee I interviewed with last Tuesday.  But what I do know is that going on is not my concern.  I know however this plays out, it is played out exactly according to plan of the One who set it all in motion in the first place!  So today, I sit here in open confession, that even as I have been directly a part of His mountain moving opportunities, I have failed and needed to realign with Him again.  I have been so busy thinking how many others are more deserving, I have failed to truly, truly celebrate what He is doing.  I confessed that to Him, again this morning, and now I share with you!

And I know that I know that I know, I am destined for greatness because greatness is within me, nestled in my heart by the name of JESUS, no matter what He does with this next step.  My bible study class was focused around my favorite verse in the bible. Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."  Then the sermon in church furthered that reminder.  God is up to something with each of us... and it is big... because He is a BIG God! 

I don't really want titles... matter of fact, they kind of scare me.  They add pressure to your life to live up to some standard that I never feel worthy of.  But the thing is, this adventure and any to follow have nothing to do with a man-made title.  Instead, it has everything to do with a God-driven purpose for my good and any others God chooses to affect through my willingness to be His vessel.  The good news is I am NOT worthy... of anything... and I don't have to be because I am saved by the One worthy of ALL!  Isn't that amazing!

I will teach as long as I am called to teach.  I will write in this blog as long as God leads my heart to passionately write.  I will share my story to anyone God wants me to share with, in any way He asks me to share.  And I will expect greatness for His glory in the process... no matter how hard it is getting there! 

Maybe you, like many including me, forget how great you are.  Maybe you don't think you have anything to offer that is very important at all.  But, as this blog always does, let me share an Eathan nugget of the day with you.  My son, before he went home to Jesus, was far to young and far too innocent to have any plan for greatness.  He was just living life out loud in a way that was beyond beautiful in the midst of his horrendous disease.  His life has changed lives beyond what I even know, but from what I do know, is astounding!  His life plan lived out in those three, brief, innocent years was greatness... without him even knowing!  Why?  Because it was about Jesus and not him all along.  Same is true for me.  Same is true for you.  If you feel your life has nothing to offer, stop looking around and look up.  You watch Him change your view because He created you... and He creates NOTHING but greatness.  Only thing that can stop your greatness... is your unwillingness to serve the One who is greatest of all! 

Humble in His greatness!

Robin