Frag-ile 1. Easily broken, damaged, or destroyed; frail.
2. Lacking physical or emotional strength; delicate.
3. Lacking substance; tenuous or flimsy:
When I think of the definition, so many things come rushing to my mind....
- the petals on a delicate flower, the tail of a lizard, the spirit of a child, a treasured keepsake from days gone by... a few things that come to mind when I think of the first definition.
- an abused child or animal, a betrayed wife, a drug addict.... things that come to mind with the second definition.
- Brittany Spears, McDonald's toys, "life is only about you" feel-good books... things that come to mind with the third definition above.
- Christ, my marriage, Eathan, my family, true friendship, Oak trees, cement, rushing water, tornadoes, my weight... all things that come to mind as antonyms to the definitions above.
Today, I don't have a specific thing on my mind. It's more life that is on my mind. How everything within the life we live on earth is so conflicting. How strong we are in Christ, yet fragile the very second we step out on our own away from Him. How one moment we are the picture of health, the next moment we are hearing grave news of what is going on inside our bodies. How a practiced smile may be the very cover of a broken heart. How revealing our true weaknesses seem to make us instantly stronger. Those kinds of things are just kind of swirling in my thoughts today and I decided it was worth dropping the anchor and really looking at it from the heart out, for a while today.
When I look back over my life, I am super blessed. I had the best childhood. I really did. I didn't have perfect parents... THANK GOODNESS because I could never have lived up to that if I did. But I had the perfect parents for me and my childhood was all I could have hoped for... and more. I have had great friends all of my life. Some of them have stuck and been with me for as long as I can remember. Some came for a season and some are brand new... but all along, I have been surrounded in truly great friends. I have a great man, that God ordained to be just for me. He makes me crazy sometimes and I am certain he has had at least a time or two (HA HA HA! Complete under-exaggeration here) that I have made him want to pull the few hairs he has left, right out (sorry Todd... it's true.. there ARE only a FEW left!), but we were just made for each other. We balance each other in so many ways. And I have these children.... all are beautiful and filled with such tremendous potential. Every single one of them. And each of them have brought something extraordinary to my life that makes me better. Even the hard stuff my older two adopted childrenhave done, in their deep rebellion and struggles , has grown me and taught me things I could never have known. I truly am blessed in so many ways, on so many levels, in every season of my life.
Pause.... just got word the Casey Anthony verdict will be in shortly.
Un-pause....
Wow. WOW! I didn't see that coming. I haven't watched the details of the trial. And I certainly have not had the inside view the jurors did. I just had an opinion, based on the 31 days it took to admit she was missing... and only after her mom reported Caylee as such, that something was certainly totally and completely amiss. I guess I assumed it would be so clear in court. Obviously today, it is shown that it wasn't so clear and wasn't proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that Casey killed her little girl. I honor those jurors. What a TOUGH job to sit through all of that and an even TOUGHER job to give a verdict that will be so hated across the country. But, they had their reasons and I for one will not be one to sit in judgement of that decision. I will just continue to be very sad for that little girl's last moments in life and wonder how exactly did it end.
I find it simply amazing... not coincidental in any way because it is God we are dealing with here... but amazing that He would have me start off the day writing about "nothing in particular fragility of life" without realizing my thoughts would then lean so heavily into the ending of a beautiful, fragile little girl now home in the arms of Jesus. Not coincidental at all. I didn't even return to my blog until now at 12:30 am...over 12 hours later from when I "paused" to watch the news. I felt sort of... well... yuck after the verdict and the immediate outrage posted all over facebook. It is just a heavy thing.
But I think what made me most sad today, while watching all of this unfold, was the thought that edged its way into my heart of how many little children die at the hands of someone every day, but don't even make the news! Every day, in our country and around the world, children are victimized in unspeakable ways and their lives come to an unfair and despicable ending. That is where I landed within 30 minutes of the verdict this afternoon... and it was YUCK!
So what's a girl to do? I posted on my facebook...Headed out to the beach... Some things in life are beyond our control... Some things are ours for the taking... Today we are taking the beach! :)... and that is just what we did. I went and sat by the ocean, listened to the powerful waves crashing over and over and over onto the shore and thought of God and His mercies in the "fragility's" of life. Just like those waves, pouring over the sand over and over and over, so His grace arrives into every soul's life that will simply allow it to come.I watched my kids play and laugh. I played with them a lot. But at times I just sat, closed my eyes, and thought of God and His mercies.
Here is where I am tonight, as opposed to the heaviness I felt upon the sudden need to flee the news and head to the beach. I am very sad for that little girl's ending, but I am really not so sad for her. The way she left earth is heart wrenching if you focus in on the details of how she was found, but the thing is, she is with Jesus. Period and end of story. His grace swept her HOME in the same beautiful manner He took my son from his disease. His grace swept down, He showed His glorious face in all of it's splendor as He reached his hand down to her, and in a blink of an eye she was without anymore tears, suffering, fear, or pain. Astounding. And every single child that leaves earth whether accidental, disease inflicted, or human cruelty is, in an instant, in that same glory... every single one.
Tonight, when I think of the word fragile that fell on my heart this morning, not realizing today would be a day that verdict would come, certainly Little Caylee Anthony comes to mind. My Eathan comes to mind. All of my children come to mind. And you and I come to mind! And the thing is, frailness ends at the intersection of the cross because through Him, the world and all it's sorrow, is made right and whole and healed. It's just all in His time.
However, there comes a time when that grace and mercy and strength through Him can leave us... and that is when we reach an age and an understanding of what it is we are offered and we refuse. Right then, our frailness because dangerous, as we are flirting with an eternity of separation from the One overcomes all our pain, suffering, and sin. I know tonight where I am going and how I am getting there. I know tonight that no matter how bad the world becomes, I have a way out at the end, in His timing. And many I know and love know it as well.
But I now there are those that have yet to grab on. They have left the gift on the table, refusing to open and receive what Christ has given. Excuses of things from their past that is seen as unfair, blame against another, reveling in their sin more than in their eternal rescue.... all become a barrier from the Father's mercy river and the frailness of the lost, is the saddest of them all for the cost there is forever... and ever ... and ever away from grace.
That I simply cannot imagine. I cannot imagine. And I will be flat honest, I wouldn't wish hell on the worst enemy on earth. I am thankful for the forgiveness of who I am apart from Christ and I know that grace is intended for all... even Casey Anthony. As my friend said on her status today... sin is sin. Without the cross...we are ALL condemned.
I don't know where my blog would have headed today were it not for the verdict. I was dealing in the word fragile and I was headed somewhere with it. God drew me to the topic, but just like that He interrupted once the stage was set. He had something else He wanted to deal with me on. So I dealt. And now I write.
I don't know who is reading or what is your struggle. I just know every single person has them... and they are rough. But in our deepest frailness... when we feel the most defeated and broken... a grace river flows strong and mighty, to wash away all the stress and pain we carry trying to be strong in our own strength in the midst of life's struggles. Let the river flow Lord! Let the river flow!
I pray that anyone that doesn't know grace... find it! It is there for the taking... for each and every person on earth...We make it really complicated sometimes, but the truth is... as my sweet little Kendall (3 1/2 years old) clearly stated for me yesterday.... it's quite simple. She said, "Jesus died on the cwoss. He was buwied in the tomb fo-wa thwee days. He wose again. And that's the gospel!" If you believe that in faith and simply say "YES,JESUS!" to confessing Him as Lord of your life, than your frail earthly existence is covered by His grace and you, my friend, have victory... FRAGILE NO MORE!
I don't know who has read this. I don't know who I have offended. But what I do know, is I mean every single word. God loves you. He loves me. And He loves Casey Anthony. The question is, what will we do with that unconditional love?
Praying for you... and praying for me tonight, in Jesus name!
Robin
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