Pity Party diverted...

Today was NOT my kind of day.  I had to get up early (that in and of itself is enough to get a little grumble from me!  It is SUMMER people!  Summer should equal lazy mornings!).  I had to drive in rush hour traffic ('nuff said there).  But most of all, I had to take my son to the hospital for more tests.  I would go to the ends of the earth and back for any of my children.  It is not the going for him I mind.  It is the fact that he needs to go that I mind.  I don't like it... one bit.  It is hard.  It's hard to be there; to watch him walk in to the testing room; to sit and wait; to wonder... to (I know... I am not supposed to do this... I KNOW I am not... but I'm a Mom!  It happens!) worry. And it is hard because of all the emotions it stirs up remembering the many, many, many times I was beside my Tuffy in those situations.  Makes me miss him so much and makes the worry even more of a worry because of the journey we have already been on.  Doesn't take much on these kind of mornings for the pity party to begin.  Funny though, almost as quickly as it starts, it stops dead in it's tracks.  How?  Well let me share how today's happened and then we will just recognize that this signifies examples of every single time I want to have a full blown, throw a fit like a toddler, pity party...

After I was up and about and getting ready to leave, I received a message from a friend requesting prayer.  A precious family was in severe emotional pain as someone they loved had just lost a baby in utero... near time for the baby to be born.  That family went from the joy of anticipation to the immediate devastation of the sudden loss.  She was having to be induced and go through full labor to deliver a full-term baby already gone home to heaven.  I felt immediate heartbreak for the entire family. 

And then as I was waiting on Seth, I was thinking about a friend that was facing her third chemo today.  Her third out of 12.  And then she faces radiation.  Long journey.  And I was thinking of another friend's husband battling throat cancer.  It will get worse before it gets better.  Difficult journey.  And I thought of a high school friend that just finished chemo.  And I thought of a friend that recently lost her daddy.  And I thought of those that have suffered from the recent tornadoes.  And I thought of those that recently suffered great loss from fires.  And then a man came in, with a tracheotomy, barely able to walk... and I thought of him.  And then Seth walked out, smile on his face, saying, "Let's go eat!"  By the time I got to the car, the pity party was not even a vague touch of what I was thinking and doing.  It was completely diverted.   And guess what.... it got me to thinking.... (You HAD to see that coming by now, if you read this much at all!)

No wonder we Christians get the name, "hypocrites."  We ARE!  I AM!  Wish I wasn't, but I am... even when I don't mean or want to be.  Darn Flesh!  Just yesterday I was reminding myself and posted on facebook, "it's so easy to get discouraged isn't it? Financial surprises that derail summer plans. Disappointments from people, etc. But then, you laugh with a friend or read a special message sent and remember, it isn't about what is seen in the now... it's what is in the works! WHOPPPPIEEE for God's "in the works" plan!"  Just yesterday I was reminding myself and others to remember about God's "in the works" plans.  Then today came, I had to deal with something where I can't see the outcome yet, and there I went... fast and furious, right towards discouragement.  Hypocrisy at it's finest.  And I am very sorry.

The good news though, is  before I could get very far into my hypocrisy of the moment, God grabbed my attention.  He had me look around, look outward more than at my own "whoa's" of the moment and remember AGAIN.. for about the trillionth, billionth, time (or whatever a really astronomical number would be! I am NOT a math major!) that I canNOT look at now .... nor can I look at ME ... separate from all the other realities... including His word.  Isn't He a gracious God?  There is so much we already know about His truth.  He has already shown, proven, and established time and again.... but He is loving and faithful and tender towards us enough to do it again... and again... and again... every time we stumble or grow weak in our flesh.  He is there... drawing us back.  Man am I thankful on this almost a pity party kind of day!

So for the rest of the day... I have made an intentional effort to look at the good things taking place rather than letting my mind wonder back to the "what if's" and "ugh's" that want to hold me captive.  I laughed with Seth and listened to music on his ipod on the drive home and found myself very, very thankful for the time we have been given on the road to be alone and "hang out".  I worked with a friend on our weekly "surprise" for our friend going through Chemo and have gotten more and more excited about the plan in motion to let her know we love her again today.  I played with my dogs.  I listened to my youngest play as if she had ten friends over... though she was alone. Etc.  I just didn't dwell where I am certain satan would have preferred I did.  And of course... I blogged!  AHHHHH!  The joy!

The result... Pity Party diverted... and flat out extinguished!  Life is really good.  Not easy.  Not perfect.  But really, really good.   And now I am off to complete the surprise for the day and enjoy how good today ended rather than began.  If I could be more like Eathan, that pity party would have never begun... his never did.  Someday maybe I will be like him....and most of all, I pray I am more like Jesus!

Peace out peeps!

Robin