It just ain't about me at all!

School has come to an end.... I am THRILLED for summer fun with my family and friends... but I do truly already miss my kiddos at school.  It's so strange to spend 8 hours a day with them and then suddenly, it's over for a while.  I love them.  I truly, truly love them.

But alas, I love my own more and we are off to a fun start.  We got out last Wednesday and have been going and going ever since.  Today, we watched our youth head off to High School Beach retreat and we headed into church for promotion Sunday for our youngest. After everyone was squared away, we headed upstairs for bible study.  Today's topic was on Jeremiah, the "weeping" prophet.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  We spent some time really looking at the history behind his calling, his reaction to being called, and the results of his 41 years of ministry, where it seemed all he said and did fell on deaf ears.  The thing that stood out most to me, was how difficult it must have been to keep going forward in what he was called to do, with zero return for his efforts. And it got me to thinking...

How often am I in the middle of God's will, knowing that I know, that I know, that I know, I am about His business, and yet, when the response in return is not what I expected it to be, or what I feel it should be, I feel defeated?  I see God all around me every day.  In my family and my dear friends that support and love me each and every day, in my work with those precious children, in answered prayers... He really is all around.  Yet, because I don't get to see things in all situations have that immediate gratification of what I expected, I so easily forget to remember the things He has shown as evidence of clarity of Him.  Talk about conviction... today, thinking of Jeremiah and all he endured with ZERO gratification of its affects for the Kingdom...I was humbled... and re-inspired all over again.

I am not here for man's approval or reaction.  I am here for Christ.  I am to love those that God puts in my path.  I am to try to do all I can to share of Him and proclaim Him... not so much in words but in how I live.  When I fail, I am to confess, start again... and again and again and again... each time, growing a little more like the One of whom I worship.  And I am not to determine to press on based on what I see from my view.  Today I was convicted yet again, it just ain't about me at all!

So what does that mean?  It's not a new revelation.  I know that and have known that for a long, long time. Today, what that means, is I can know it all day long, but I have to purposefully remember it... and not when the going is good.  I have to determine to remember it, when I am sitting outside the testing area for Seth and my heart is pounding for what it is they are looking for while the memories that swirl of all the times I sat, heart pounding for Eathan, knowing his outcome was not what I had hoped.  Right in that moment I have to remember.  I have to remember when situations arise that I intended for good and yet I am disappointed in the responses, that it truly isn't about their reaction, but instead for me to be found pleasing to God alone that matters.  I have to remember.... it just ain't about me at all!


I think overall, I have learned that well, over and over again throughout my life.  I remember all the way back in elementary school, standing between two of my best friends (Jana... Judy... remember this?).  They were going to have a "fight".  I got right in the middle of them and started crying and said, "Jesus wouldn't like this."  I got made fun of... not by them but by the ones that didn't care about them and just wanted some drama... and it hurt like crazy.  My mom told me, "Sometimes it hurts to say what needs to be said.  Sometimes it hurts to be a real friend."  It did... but I can honestly say, even then when I felt embarassed, it was worth it... because I really did care about both of them... and I knew they cared about each other.  I mean come one... we all rode bikes all over the world together!  That day, that moment, it just wasn't about me at all!  It was about two friends I still wanted to ride bikes with!

I learned it when I held my son's lifeless body and had to come to terms that even with all my prayers for earthly healing, God's answer was no to that, but yes to the better answer... perfect healing for Eathan.  That was about a suffering, precious child of God.  It just wasn't about me at all.  It was about God being GOD to a little boy He loved more than I ever could... even as much as I loved him!  It just wasn't about me at all!

And when things aren't going right in situations God calls me to right now... I just have to remember those and hold fast like Jeremiah and remember it just ain't about me at all.  It's just about Him.  HIM, HIM, HIM, HIM, HIM! And thankfully, unlike Jeremiah, I am seeing fruits of my labors for Christ, even when some things aren't as I had hoped... I still see hope every day.  I have no reason to be the "weeping Mama", for God IS at work, He IS showing me, and because of that I have to just keep trusting that the rest will come when He determines it is right... because it just ain't about me at all!

Yes, summer is off to a great start.... and I intend to be purposeful in remembering He is about His business and I need to just simmer down and enjoy the ride!  It isn't my job to fix anyone or anything. I just need to seek after the One who IS in charge of every single detail.  I can't wait for youth camp to complete and to see what God has done.  I can't wait to enjoy the week with Dramatic Flair.  And for now, I will go see Him best in the three little giggling girls (Dramatic Flair and two of her friends) upstairs as I get them settled into a movie for the night , knowing they are some of His very best proof of who He is!

Giggle on... it's fun!

Robin