Some favorite Eathan memories!

I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks.  Man I miss sitting and running my fingers wildly over the keyboard!  Just seems this time of year gets so fast paced, finishing up with school and kids activities.  The days start early and end late, and in between there is barely time to breath. 

But today is Sunday.  And on Sunday, I have found time to breath... and I LIKE it!  I sat outside today in my lawn chair for quite a while.  The family was all outside for one reason or another and I found myself feeling all warm and fuzzy inside sitting in that chair in a half-dazed awareness, eyes closed, soaking up the sun.  The sounds of my family all around me in a "nothing in particular to do" kind of day just almost overwhelmed me.  I put a status on my facebook that said, "I am so blessed... So very, very blessed! Things aren't perfect but I think that's so the blessings are far more treasured. So as I sit here in my lawn chair listening to my family enjoy our Sunday afternoon, I say again, I am very, very blessed!"  I almost cried this afternoon... just because of the blessings in my life. 

Tonight, my husband is at a movie with my son, my dramatic flair is sleeping, my teen is avoiding me (as usual) so I have some alone time.  My mind slipped back to that reflection time this afternoon and I decided I needed to sit and write a bit.  But what to write about?  So many blessings!  So much I could share.  But then, it all came clear.  I want to write about Eathan.  My greatest inspiration, next to Jesus.  He is the reason I know to sit in the yard and be so grateful for the simple things like a "noting in particular to do" kind of day. His life legacy is my continual reminder of what matters most.  So what better thing to write about tonight than him?  Sometimes I wonder if some might wish I would let it go.  For them, stop reading.  I will never let it go.  He is worth remembering every single day until I join him in heaven!  He changed our lives and many, many lives around us, from family and friends, to even the total strangers affected by his life through my writings of him back then.  Nope, I will never let it go!  And today is the perfect blogging day to write about him.... and only him! Instead of a nugget from him, today he will the whole sha-bang!  WHAT JOY!


But how does that look?  How can I ever start writing about him and ever get finished!  There is so much I could share. I think I will just take a few of my favorite memories that come to mind tonight.  He was worth knowing and the memories are precious treasures.  I have many of them collected in a book.  It is over 600 pages.  I haven't had it published.  I had a publisher willing... but he wanted me to cut over 200 pages.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  How can a mom CUT 200 pages of her precious son's journey?  So it sits in its original form.  The time will come where I will either have peace to find a way to narrow down the pages, or God will supply the way to have it out there just as it is.  It is HIS book anyway.  I didn't even mean or want to write it.  His prompting through the Holy Spirit is where that book came from.  Therefore, I know in His perfect time and way, it will be used somehow.  Anyway, knowing I can write 600 pages about it proves I better be careful starting out tonight! So only a few... I promise!

I remember that little fella before he fell ill.  He LOVED bath time.  I mean LOVED it!  He would get so excited when we would turn on the water from the time he was old enough to really grasp water running was related to bath time, his little feet would start kicking with excitement!  When he got old enough and was crawling, he would crawl up to the tub, pull up, and bounce up and down holding on to the side while I ran his water.  I would undress him and in he would go.  Splash time was ON!  He was a serious splash-bath baby and that water was his wonderland.  I would sit and watch him play for the longest time.  I always left him for last because I knew his joy in there could not be cut short by a waiting sibling!  But the best part for me and Todd would be at the end of bath time.  We would get him out, I would wrap him up in his hoodie towel and off we would go to his bedroom.  There I would lay him down, lotion him up, and then it was GAME ON!  He would flip to his belly, up onto his knees and he would crawl back and forth between me and Todd playing the tickle game, naked hiney shining!  He would crawl away from me squealing as I tickled him until I couldn't reach him.  He would head straight for Todd.  As soon as Todd pulled out the tickle monster (the hand spread wide and ready) he would wheel around squealing and headed back to me.  He would do this over and over until he fell over giggling and tired!  I think we laughed far more than him... every single time!  After he fell over, I would scoop him up in his towel, snuggle up to him ( I love the smell of clean babies after bath time), get his pj's on, then spend some time just us, loving on that sweet baby.  We did it with each of our kids.  After bath time, they each got "their" time.  We rocked, loved, and read to them all by themselves.  Eathan LOVED that time.  He would get his blankey and suck his sweet little chubby thumb, and just settle into my chest.  Pure heaven on earth each and every night.  I loved those times.  I cherish them now more than I even did then! 

But don't kid yourself, he was not always the sweet and innocent baby!  That child had a stubborn streak a MILE long and it ran right straight down the middle of him!  After he was sick, I worked really hard at trying to keep his life as normal as possible.  I remember being home from the hospital one day and it was nap time.  Because time was so precious with Eathan home, I let him lay down in the play room with the older three to watch a movie for nap time.  I told them all no talking.  They had to rest.  Eathan, just as sweet as he could, looked and nodded that he would rest.  The SECOND I stepped out of the playroom door and out of sight, I heard him say, "Seth!  Mere!", which meant Seth come here.  I heard Seth laugh, but he didn't go.  So Eathan whispered a little louder, "Seth MERE!"  Seth said, "What Eathan?"  Eathan said, "Mere Seth!"  I stood in the hall and said, "Eathan, its time to rest."  Long pause, then I hear in a quiet whisper, "Seth, MERE!"  I stuck my head around the corner and as soon as he saw me he laid his head back, closed his eyes, and did his best "I really am asleep" impression.  I said, "Eathan, its time to rest or you have to go lay in your bed.  You need to sleep to feel better."  He nodded with his eyes still shut as if I might think he really were asleep.  I told them all I loved them, step outside the door and after a short pause, instantly heard, "Hey Seth, mere!"  Long pause.  Louder whisper of "Seth!  MERE!"  Then I heard Seth quietly go over to his brother.  Eathan said, "I pay wif you!  I not seep".  I stepped around the corner and boom, head back, eyes closed as if he were sleeping.  Never mind his brother was caught red handed.  This went on for 20 minutes.  He knew he had us all wrapped around his finger so he wasn't about to "seep" that day!

And then one day in the hospital I told him it was time to rest.  I turned the TV off and said for him to roll over and get some rest.  He laid their for a minute and pointed his finger and said, "I don't haa (His way of saying have) to!"  I said, "Eathan, that's not nice.  You need to put that finger down and mind Mommy."  He pulled his finger closer to his face, lowered his voice a bit and said "I don't haa to!"  I said, "Eathan..."  He pulled his finger right up to his cheek, and in a whisper said, "I.. don't.... haa.... to."  while staring me square in the eye.  I said, "Eathan!"  About that time he started calling out for his nurse that day, "Shewie!  SHEWIE!  (Sherry)"  I said, "Eathan!  You quit calling your nurse!  It is time to rest!"   Even louder he said, "SHHHEEEWWWWIIIEEEEE!"  and of course "Shewie came running."  She asked Eathan what was wrong and he said, almost with a smirk at me, "I hug you?"  Over she came and nap time was delayed a good thirty minutes!  Yes, he had ORNERY as a middle name!

I remember so well how he held his blankey by the corner and rubbed between his eyes with it using his pointer finger while he sucked his thumb.  Sweetest thing I had ever seen!  He loved that blankey and that thumb almost more than he loved me!

I remember how much he loved to ride the tractor with his daddy.  Before he was sick, he did it all the time.  After he got sick, it was one of the first things we would try to do when we got home.  He loved that tractor and that daddy.

He and Seth were the best of friends.  They were closest in age.  I can remember standing outside their door at night, before he got sick, and listening to them play once they thought we had walked away.  They would get down and get toys and get in Eathan's little toddler bed and the play time would ensue.  And every time I would walk in the catch them, they would both about jump out of their skin!  He loved his Seth and his Seth loved him!

He had a really bad gag reflex so he hated eating solid food... always.  Meal time was a battle and a half.  He would want milk and I would have to hold him off until he had his food.  He would get so, so mad.  He would arch his back and throw himself down.  Only time he was ever hard to handle, but I am telling you food made him mad!  But give him milk or M&M's and he was a happy little fella!  He would drink that milk, rubbing that blanket, and all was right with the world.  And watching him, it was hard to believe he could be the same child that just arched his back in a melt down 30 minutes before.  He was good as gold all other times.. .but boy don't tell him no to his milk!

He had the shortest legs ever.  They were so cute when he started walking.  Short legs going ninety to nothing all over the place.  And when he was old enough to realize Seth was going potty on the big toilet, he wanted to also.  I have the cutest pictures of him sitting on the potty chair by Seth before he was even a year old.  And if he ever accidentally went tee-tee sitting there, he would be so amazed!

He had the most amazing eyes.  They were beautiful blue eyes with lashes that would literally rest on his cheeks when he slept. And he knew how to use them.  I don't know how many times he got what he wanted by looking so sweetly at whomever had what he wanted and all but batting those beautiful eyelashes!  That boy knew they were his secret weapon and he was NOT afraid to use them!

Oh how I loved him! 

I could keep going, but I guess I will save more for another day.  Sometimes it is just good to remember the normal things about Eathan.  He was just a little boy.  He wasn't perfect or angelic.  He was just a precious child of the King that ultimately was used to draw all that knew him closer to the One who created him.  He was special, no doubt about it.  He was a normal little boy with an extraordinary journey that was world changing.  I think he threw those fits over the milk because somehow he knew life was too short to sweat the hard stuff.... just seize the moment. He knew that and he lived that, before and during his illness. 

Because of that, days like today, when I am in the middle of a "nothing in particular to do" kind of day, sitting in my lawn chair listening to my family all around me, I remember to seize the moment.  Sure makes the harder moments easier and makes life a whole lot sweeter. 

Today I am so blessed... So very, very blessed! Things aren't perfect but I think that's so the blessings are far more treasured. So as I sit here in my lawn chair listening to my family enjoy our Sunday afternoon, I say again, I am very, very blessed!

Thanks Eathan! 

Go seize your moments!

Love to all!

Robin