Should be in bed... but....

It is late... and morning comes early... yet my fingers won out.  They have been aching to be at this all weekend.  ALL weekend.  I was going to bed early tonight.  I have been up late and up early since... I don't know... say Christmas?  I am T-I-R-E-D.  But I can't seem to walk away tonight. 

I don't have one thing in particular on my heart.  I have a lot of swirling thoughts.  This blog may look a bit different.  Here goes....

• wishing our love could spread as fast as devastating wild fires.  What a difference that could be in the wake of such horrific loss in my hometown from the wildfires that consumed so much...
• amazing how much we need our own mom and dad when someone we love loses theirs...
• that saying, "what a difference a day makes" has such deep value when I think about:   the change from one moment to the next when our sweet Eathan leaped to Jesus, how sudden cancer strikes and life swirls, how softly a loved one takes her last breath and slips into Heaven so peacefully, how something so comfortable is suddenly a blazing hell on earth, how someone has a job one day, only to find out it is no longer there the next...
• how tender genuine prayer makes our souls...
• the absolute power in the tongue.. both for good and for bad... and how real it is when we experience either effect of someones use of it...
• how concern for someone can be misunderstood and yet peace abides because we know man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart...
• how being bold for Christ comes with a price... but one that is never too high...
• how lonely it feels to be so far away when you know your mom needs a hug...
• how lonely it feels to be so far away when you need a hug from your mom...
• the reassurance of hearing your Daddy's voice... no matter how old you are....
• the sorrow in knowing so many can't hear their daddy's voice anymore... or never did...
• how amazing it is when we open the Bible... it is always exactly what we need... always!
• the power of hearing your kids sing of God's holiness when they don't know anyone is listening
• the joy of a toothless smile from a first grader...
• how comforting old comfy clothes are...
• a husband's integrity...
• inspiration of a high school classmate fighting cancer with such joy...
• the reassurance of friends that are ALWAYS there.. unwavering...
• hope that comes from the pit of brokenness...
• unexpected laughter...
• intentional ministry moments... I love the surprises, but I love the intentional intent to be available for them...
• giving forgiveness even when they don't care or don't ask or don't want...
• receiving forgiveness...
• love notes all over the house in the form of first grade art and scribbles just because...
• the wagging of tales when I get home... every single time I get home
• and old friend... reconnected again... and realizing we are the exact same connected as we were when we supported each other so much as kids
• crayons... I don't know why.... they just stir emotions... of me using them, of my kids all using them, of teaching moments that I cherish.... they just remind me of innocence.
• speaking of... innocence.  I love that it still exists when Satan tries so hard to remove it from the youngest to the oldest.
• music that makes me cry
• pictures... a ridiculous amount of pictures... because I love my life so much I don't want to ever forget a single moment...
• good, good neighbors...
• new friends that feel like I have known them forever...
• special needs kids that remind me life is about more than what the world sees it to be...
• the smell of rain...
• seeing something that has been seen a million times but for the first time really SEEING it...
• messages from friends that come unexpectedly that melt your heart and humble your soul...
• ties that bind...
• promises that endure...
• hope that remains....
• peace that overwhelms...
• grace that consumes....
• blood that covers....
• cross that bridges...
• God that reigns....
• HEAVEN

I have a lot of things I struggle in understanding.... but the cool thing... God is bigger than my understanding and at the end of the day... no matter the sadness, heartbreak, or joy that the day has held.... that is always my ending thought.  That is just WAY cool....

Okay... off to bed LATE to be up EARLY.  It's just how I roll.....

Be blessed!

Robin