Perfect ending....

Ever woke up in a place where you totally believe in the things unseen but really wanted the "seen" to make sense?  I was there today.  Been there before, will be there again, but today it was in my face again and I spent some time pondering.  Here is what I have come up with.

First of all, last week, I received a praise report from the prayer share group from my school. Many have had needs this year, many still do.  It  is always so wonderful when a report can come in of answers to things we have all been sharing in prayer for one another.  I replied to the praise that I love how just when doubt is about to set in, God shows us He is at work in some things seen  to prove and remind us He is at work in the things left unseen.  That scripture was brought to my mind several times throughout this week and again first thing this morning when I was really wanting a certain unseen thing to be seen.  Man the unseen can be tough sometimes.  But as I was wishing for that very thing, God brought that scripture back yet again, so that I would remember He has given me a lot of proof along my life path and if I am doubting or struggling, I better address where that is coming from.... which sure "ain't" Him!

Second of all, I thought about a friend who did an awesome job giving her husband a near heart attack on April Fools Day by pretending she got word she was with child again... though their youngest is almost out of high school.  I laughed hard at her retell and then remembered from that, sometimes the greatest joy are the things that are by total surprise.  I am sure her husband would tell you how joyful he was to get the reminder of Happy April Fools Day!

Third, I thought about how much I love the thrill of adventure.  The higher the roller coaster plunge, the more I wanna be on it.  The faster it spins, the more I giggle.  The more someone says I can't the more I am determined to find a way "to can!".  If I can just approach the unknowns that seem a bit overwhelming (okay a LOT overwhelming at times) with the same zeal as I do the roller coasters, the ride will be all the more thrilling.  I have the greatest safety plan for anything that comes my way... I am wrapped up by Jesus.  So life has some twists.  God has me, so just run into the adventure with heart wide open.

Fourth, I thought about how much I would have missed along the way had I had the view before.  Somehow, knowing now what I didn't know then, sounds appealing at first, but really, it kind of makes me shudder because I would have missed all the growth walking through the unknown has granted me.  Better to keep going forward in faith unseen than to know it all and miss out on some of the greatest gifts life has to offer.

Fifth, I credited the reality of life while dealing in the things unseen.  Life, though painful, scary, emotional, and exhausting sometimes along the way, is still so overwhelmingly good.  Would I really, I mean REALLY appreciate that, if I knew all the answers I await along the way?

Finally, would I love the way I love, hope the way I hope, trust the way I trust, and lean into God the way I do, if I didn't have to hold on anyway, in the things unseen... especially the uglier side of the things going on along life's pathways... or would I be cynical, critical, and self righteous?  Pretty sure, those that assume they have it all figured out are the very people I tend to avoid.  Would I become just like that, were I to have all the answers up front?  I'm terribly afraid so.

I shared a painful, deep need last night with a friend.  She wrote back and said, "I have never heard of so much.  God must really have plans for you!"  It made me chuckle really, even in that hard, hard time with my adopted daughter in turmoil and us knowing all we could do was pray... again.

And it made me chuckle as I dealt with the ongoing checks for possible lice in my sweet baby girl's hair. PLEASE don't tell her you know.  She is so upset at the idea of BUGS in her HAIR!  I can assure you, she has no idea how much more upset I am. Any of you that know me at all, know about my bug phobia.  I am the grown woman that runs and screams no matter how hard I try to be mature, where bugs are concerned.  I have had no less than 4 major melt downs in private over this "de-lousing" process, so that I could not act totally grossed out if in case I found one in her hair.  (Side note:  I suggest checking carefully with the status of lice in your kiddo's room before you allow a sleep over party to occur.  If there is a "possible case" still going on with any one child, do NOT assume all will be well because my daughter is living proof.... it is NOT well.) (Side note 2: Of course I will also add... probably no one else contracted them that night but our sweetie pie.  Murphy's law I think!)  (Side note 3:  After all night mayo treatments, olive oil treatments, daily 2 - 21/2 hour hair comings, a drive downtown to get a special preventative spray that is supposed to ward off the critters that may still linger in the other girl's hair from wanting to jump heads again, I think we are lice free! The house has a nice fresh, ridiculously over-cleaned smell for the third week in a row, not a thing has been left either laundered five thousand times or still resides in plastic bags to assure any possible straggler has been heinously suffocated... and preferably slowly and tortuously...and I have found mayo...which is on my head as I type because I just need to keep protecting my head "in case"... is a great conditioner.)  Okay WHOA!  I am WAY off topic... those darn lice are haunting my thoughts.

The message made me chuckle as I looked at my 14th day of a red, swollen foot, with sores brought on by the ant bites that came when I was putting out signs for my lost dogs...that caused me to miss church upon their escape...which triggered a severe allergic reaction that I didn't even know I had to fire ants...which led to extreme swelling of the foot and cellulitis (tissue infection) to set in.  Does that one scenario alone not make you think... WHO in the world does THAT happen to?  HA!

It made me chuckle even, as we prepare for more tests on my son,  that started out with me thinking a doctor would simply tell him he needed to drink more water or take a vitamin, not pull him from his sports with the possibility of never going back.  Or as my hubby still has ongoing issues of that angry MRSA infection sitting in that leg just waiting to rear its ugly head in full force. Or... or... or................

It just almost gets embarrassing really.  But then, it is what it is, and somehow, I can laugh in the midst of it, because all the things God has brought us through is a lingering strength and hope beyond the things of this world.  And greatest of all, as my sweet friend said, God must have big plans.  I am not silly enough to think God NEEDS me.  But I am excited enough to think He may CHOOSE me! 

I don't know how, when, where, or why, but I believe if I just keep clinging, I can be used somehow, for His glory.  I may be able to help someone who has adopted and is in struggles feel not so alone.  If I hang on, I may be able to help someone laugh just before insanity sets in over lice being the final straw of what they are dealing with in that season.  I may be able to assure a scared mom, that God is bigger than the fears satan brings at us through the idea of our children's health not being what it should be.  I may be able to encourage someone that illness is big, but God is bigger when their spouse is suddenly dealing with some nasty disease of one kind or another.  I just might get to walk hand in hand in someone's journey that otherwise I would only be able to observe from the outside, if I just cling to the truth in EVEN the unseen things.  But ONLY if I cling.

I could write every single night.  I really could.  But I never can keep it short and sweet and I don't want anyone to get to the point of wanting to tell me to shut it up on a daily basis! But today, as I awoke from a long night and God gave me things to ponder, I just had to come and put them down.  Lucky you, you get to watch me encourage my own self tonight in the truths of my father.

I read a book two weeks back called "Heaven is For Real."  I sat down and devoured the book in three hours flat (thanks Joni for the recommendation).  If you haven't read it, get it quick, if you want a view of heaven from the innocence of a child.  I cried many times while I read it, but I have to tell you, having my sweet Eathan in heaven, I hunger to know so much about heaven.  I relish that I will be with my Savior and of course that is most pressing on my heart.  But, I want to know about our Tuffy up there.  Is he the same, only perfectly healed?  Is he with my grandparents at the feet of Jesus? Will we know each other there in the way we do here? I know we will never fully know until our joy ride home takes place, but I ponder those thoughts a LOT.

This book gave me such excitement.  Along with "90 minutes in Heaven," which is another amazing must read about a pastor from Alvin Texas that will blow your mind as well, this book encouraged me that all the things I believe in my heart are true.  All the struggles of this world really ARE just as a blink of an eye.  They WILL pass away and things WILL become new.  And both of these books, though not the word of God, obviously have the touch of God on them, encourage me to keep on no matter how heavy the "seen" can be, remembering it IS in the things unseen where GLORY is found!

So, though I might THINK I want the "seen" to make sense, the unseen is really where it's at.  It is unblemished, unchanged, and awaiting me.  It might not go the way I want.  It might not be what I expect, ask for, or desire from the view I have right now.  But it has a PERFECT ending.... one way or another... as long as I cling.  So... meet me at the cross!  Let's keep clinging together.  And then we will, IN A BLINK OF AN EYE, be forever and ever and ever grateful that we did!

Mayo-head signing out....

Robin