Okay, but this entry is not going to be about the throw up. No one wants to read a whole blog about THAT for goodness sake! No, this blog writing is about what that throw up tried to take from us and what came out of it. You see, not only was Brycelynn throwing up that night, but she was crying so very hard between because her much anticipated Houston Marathon 3K kid fun run was this Saturday morning. She has been excited about this event for months and the time was drawing near. She had attended her last track club run, had gotten all of her items, and was the proud owner of official entry number 280. She had planned her hair, her clothes, had her official shirt and number, and the day was almost here. So the moment the sick tummy began, the heart began to break because she knew that no one could run in the fun run doing this. I don't know what was most heart wrenching that night... seeing her sick or seeing her sad over being sick. Both of those things will rip a mom's heart right out of her chest.
We snuggled up all day yesterday and I spent a lot of time just watching her sleep. It is amazing to me how infant like our children look when they go to sleep. Awake, they are obviously more and more every day becoming these amazing people that God created with uniqueness and personality, but when they sleep, it takes me back somehow to watching them in their cribs. I was already exposed to her, so I just enjoyed the moments of quiet of just soaking her up while she slept. I had requested people to pray for this not to linger for her sake, and also for Todd's as he still fights the MRSA infection so heavily in his body. (An illness like this for him could have far greater costs than I care to entertain in writing.) So as she slept, I absorbed her sweet little self in her sleep and I spent time with God.
It was a wonderful time, though I am not really sure what all I said. It wasn't like a lot of times when I am praying. I wasn't talking a lot at all, actually. I was just sort of looking at her, worshipping Him, and letting my heart just sort of be open to Him. He knows the needs more than I can say them. He knows from the prayers said during the puke fest, what I am requesting and what I am afraid of. So yesterday, I just sort of "hung out" with God, trusting He could read my heart and know more what I needed Him to know than if I tried to put words to it.
During the time I was just laying there in quietness with God, God opened an opportunity for me to be a part of a God appointment in that place in time. God allowed my heart to be ready for something I didn't even know to be ready for through providing the reason to not be at school teaching, and to be simply soaking in time of just "hanging out" with God. God opened the door to share some thoughts in a phone call that came that I was not expecting or prepared to give words of wisdom on my own accord, but due to those precious hours of just laying in bed with Brycelynn and worshipping God from my heart, I was more ready that I could have known. I truly believe that part of the reason my Dramatic Flair was home sick, was so I was available for this phone call. I believe without a doubt, God used our time on the phone to stop a plan that Satan had in the works. I had nothing to do with it. I just was there to let God do something greater than I could even think to do. It was wonderful. It was... well just GOD. I saw Him yesterday. In the form of an unexpected encounter to CEASE the plan of Satan in a very real way with a friend I care deeply about. It was nothing short of totally remarkable.
Immediately, after that occurred, I felt so at peace about the concerns I was holding for Todd contracting this illness and getting worse in his health. Yes, we have to be cautious, but yesterday afternoon, I just felt like God reminded me that it is NEVER what I think it is from my view. NEVER. That illness, though not fun for my little one, was necessary or I would have been at school, unavailable to talk... and in the midst of allowing that God STILL and ALWAYS has His plan for GOOD in Todd's life in motion. Who am I to fear illness with a God like that? Goodness, what seemed scary for my family at the time, was actually an opened opportunity for God to reach someone in a way that would not have been there were I not home. I don't know why that always amazes me.... but I just can't ever get over how much God is always PERFECTLY at work. God's hand was there yesterday and it was beautiful... and I was changed and grown yet again. YET AGAIN! I love how God reminds me that just like my own children, I am still growing and there is still much, MUCH, yet to learn.
The rest of the evening was puke-free. She had a fever, but wasn't nearly as bad as I was afraid she might be when this all began. And so far none of the rest of us have shown signs of contracting the bug. God has our back... always and for sure. But as peaceful as I had become that this stomach bug would not bring any real destruction to our lives, there was that issue with the fun run. I had just encountered this amazing situation in time that God had used something that seemed so bad for such good, but I still didn't see the fun run thing working out. In my mind, no way was she going! As much as I wanted to fix that sad heart she had about missing it, she just wasn't well, and I was her mom and sometimes that means making the hard calls. She looked pale, had no energy, was running fever, and was just too sick to go. I told her as soon as she was better, we would put on her shirt, fasten that official number in place, and we would, together, go do that fun run. She nodded her sweet little head and said, "Okay, but (BIG TEAR-FILLED PAUSE)... it won't be the same!" I cried too. We just cried.
Oh we of little faith......
This morning, there was no alarm set. No plan to even try to go. Just letting time be our "friend" in letting her little body beat the bug. She and I slept together and snuggled all night. If she did get sick again, I wanted to be right there to help. And I never feel real good with fever, being too far away. This morning, she woke me, patting my cheeks. Her first words, "Well, today is the fun run." Such sad eyes. She began to list who all she knew that would be there. Man, my heart hurt. As she was talking, I noticed her lips didn't seem pale like last night. Her cheeks didn't have the "fever pink" glow. Her eyes seemed to have their sparkle back. I reached out and felt her and she felt normal. "Hmmmmm" I thought. "What if?...." We came downstairs and took her temp. No fever. I asked her if her tummy hurt. Not at all. Matter of fact, she said she felt fine. She looked fine. Suddenly, I felt guilty not taking her to the fun run. I looked at the clock. We had 45 minutes to get ready to head to downtown and be there in plenty of time. Should I? Should I not? Todd and I talked about it. We could see both sides. Mornings are always better. Most always our kids don't run fever in the mornings. It is the afternoon and evenings that the fever spikes. But what if she really is okay and could do this thing? We just went back and forth.
So I called a friend. I thought, "Okay, if they say I'm crazy for even considering it, then I will know that is the answer. She isn't going!" The friend I called, is much like me. She is very protective of her kids, especially one that has some health issues. I figured she, like me, would look at this from the conservative, protective mommy view. When I called and told her, without hesitation she said, "If she seems fine and wants to do it, let her do it. You can always leave early if she needs to! And if she is going to be sick, she is going to be sick. This isn't going to change that. If she looks perky enough and wants to, let her give it a shot." So that was my answer. I told her to get ready, we were going. She may have not felt 100% but I am telling you adrenaline alone made her ready! She was PUMPED!
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| Ready To Run |
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| Finishing strong |
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| Getting her award medal! |
As the house is quiet yet again, and my little sicky is back asleep, my heart is full. I realize that another simple stomach bug brought another day with another lesson. One Eathan already knew and lived. One that I try to live but seem to have to relearn and relearn. That lesson is that no matter what it seems, it is always better from the God view. What seems bad opens doors for amazing things when we just let our hearts be open and ready. And when we are faithful with little... (for me yesterday that meant being faithful to just be quiet and worship) God truly does give us much! He made her well enough to finish and get her medal. He allowed me to be a part of something beautiful that I would have had to miss. And He showed me yet again, never, ever count Him out. He is ALWAYS at work in every thing. I just love that wonderful God of mine!
I think I will go stare at my Dramatic Flair sleep some more, while I lay out some more things that I need GOD answers to, expecting Him to show up... just on time.
Robin
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