loss ALWAYS brings gain!

What a beautiful day. The weather was wonderful. Warm, slight breeze, not hot enough to break a sweat, just enough to make you want to stay outside as long as you possibly could. Those kind of days just breed happiness. We spent time with Brandy, our "almost" daughter who is in college. Footloose and carefree kind of day. Nice distraction from anything... and really everything. Just the kind of day we needed. Isn't it cool how God just knows what we need even when we don't know ourselves? He knew we all needed it... especially Seth.

He has had to come to terms this week that the slim hope he was holding onto has to be released. Due to the extent of his injuries, he will not be close to ready for release from the doctor by the time he was to leave for the Olympic Training Center and therefore, the door of opportunity has closed... at least for the time. Talk about hard on the heart. He had crocodile tears. But in the midst of the realization, that kid just demonstrated a level of integrity that is a rare jewel in a kid his age. He said, "Maybe someone will get a shot that never would have otherwise!" Right in the middle of his dream being crushed, he thought of someone else gaining theirs. That is a humble heart if ever I have known one. I don't know who cried more about that, me or him! From that came the nugget of the week... even when it is going in a way we never would have wanted, their is a greater purpose. Seth knew his loss could mean another's gain and his acknowledging that shows just how much he is growing to be like Christ... the One who gave it ALL for OUR gain!

I hate his injury. I hate the cost. But I LOVE the gain in him that is far better than anything he could have received by that awesome week at the Olympic Training Center! I love the nuggets that our todays bring. But you know me... I have to remember back and share a bit more of the priceless nuggets we learned through Eathan, our little tuffy.

Before he was sick, Eathan was the most stubborn sweet thing anyone could ever know. He had a strength about him that was undeniable. There weren't many things he would stand off about, but there were times he would determine something well worth it and there was no budging him. I mean NO budging him. But the beautiful thing was it always played out in a way that made you proud, not frustrated. It made ya smile, not feel angry. It made you feel.... well.... strength, not rebellion. I had no idea that God created him that way, knowing what we simply couldn't know.... that he was about to face an 18 month journey of sheer pain and that as each month would pass once the illness struck, he would have a harder journey than any 3 year old should ever face.

After illness struck, I saw that determination, that STRENGTH in him settle in and I knew that baby was READY for the GOOD fight. Through all he endured... surgeries, needle sticks, shock, septic body, stroke, severe infection, profuse, uncontrolled bleeds, tubes, IV's, painful procedures, the loss of ability to walk.... through all of it (that I could list for hours and not probably cover all that he endured)... Eathan NEVER lost his strength. He grew very weak, but his STRENGTH remained. It was quite evident it was because he was covered in strength that was not from him. He was touched in a way that was only supernatural. As his health failed, his spirit grew stronger. It was the most remarkable thing I have ever, ever, ever witnessed. Anyone who knew him and was around during that journey will attest to the same thing. It didn't make sense, but it was so clearly evident. His body was failing and his Spirit was growing.

When I think of him (which is multiple times every single day of my life) that is what I think of first... his ornery personality that was absolutely covered in a STRENGTH from above. And then, this week as Seth had to cope with letting go of the hope for THIS thing, that only a kid who had been holding on so tightly to the slim hope that God may heal him quick enough to attend, would be able to see past the deep disappointment ONLY if he was covered in HIS strength. Eathan knew, and this week Seth showed clearly yet again that he knows.... it is NEVER defeat. The answer may be know when we are holding out with a deep desire for yes, but it is NEVER defeat. There is something worth it... even in no. Eathan couldn't express things the way Seth did. He was only three when we said our final earthly goodbye. But his life said it when he would be in so much pain and I would be laying over his bed praying and crying and he would reach up, pat my head and say, "I okay Mama." How could a little one know to comfort ME in HIS pain if he didn't have the STRENGTH that could only come from Christ. How could Seth rejoice for another in his loss either? Yes, it is clear... there is a connection that is beyond anything this earth can explain.

People try to deny God. They think of others that believe as naive, gullible, even stupid. I however, more and more and more, am certain that believing is actually the easiest thing there is to do. His evidence is all around. It is why those who believe can find peace in the absolute most difficult of circumstances. And it is why those without God are always searching for the answer. They long for it too. God is real. His strength is real. And like my children have reminded me over and over and over... in His YES and in His NO... there is ALWAYS something good to come!

Be blessed and know that He loves you just as much as he loves my son in heaven, my other children, me....and the most terrible people in the world. God loves us each and everyone... and for that... I will KNOW that whatever I must let go of, there will be GAIN in Christ!

Robin